Listen, If you are looking for the cupcake Lollipop version of how relationships work, this is the wrong blog for you (laughing but very serious). Man, where do I start?
Relationships are 'HARD.' Think of it this way: everything is 'hard,' but you must consciously choose your 'hard every SINGLE day.' What if I told you that putting in work and being with someone in a relationship can be difficult, but navigating your feelings alone while in solitude can be just as tricky. Would you believe me? If I had a tally of every time my husband pissed me off, I would be a millionaire, and he could say the same thing, honestly. If I had a tally of every judgment call I made on my own that still pissed me off just as much as my husband, I would still, in fact, be a millionaire. See where I'm going with this? Sometimes you have to pull back and look at the bigger picture.
I mean, is an argument over who didn't put the food up or who forgot to close the garage door worth divorce? Is a dispute over finances or differences in ambition and drive worth divorce? If you two constantly disagree about the same thing, maybe there is a deeper underlying issue. We cannot think for our other half or make them do absolutely anything they have to want to. Self-evaluation is also critical. What I mean by that is to make sure you are doing your part and critique and adjust what you're doing as well. Not just pointing fingers. Redirecting negative behavior regardless of who is at fault will minimize the arguments and improve your relationship. I wouldn't been in the same relationship 19yrs and married 16yrs of them unless I knew.